April 2011
2 posts
A forest of giant foam fingers
Did I ever tell you about the time I made it to the semi-finals of the Official World Paper, Scissors, Stone Championships? I can’t remember how I got there, or basically anything else at all about my life up to that point, but whatever, it helps keep this junk a bit shorter so enough with the questions already. What I do remember, fair brothers n’ sisters, is this:
- that I was...
The unfortunate patient
I’d like to think that I’d be pretty sensitive if I was one of those doctors who had to deal with all the yeah wow I really don’t know I guess I was just doing a spot of attic-clearing and then I kinda fell on this sports trophy or whatever and yes as a matter of fact I was doing the attic-clearing naked and look will this take long because I’m on double yellows and I had...
March 2011
3 posts
This soft pinkish snow
Here’s a good idea for an advert, don’t steal it*.
So this businessman-looking guy (mid-thirties, you’re thinking he maybe plays squash but probably rents the racquet) comes stumbling out of a telephone booth all covered in sweat and shaking pretty badly, but in that kind of manly way that says jesus you guys would not BELIEVE the shitfest that just went down in there seriously...